Happy National Coming Out Day!
October 11th is National Coming Out Day which celebrates a significant importance in a queer individual’s life. It was first observed on October 11, 1988 which marks the anniversary of the 1987 National March on Washington for Lesbian and Gay Rights. Founded by psychologist Richard Eichberg and gay rights activist Jean O’Leary.
The coming out process can be very stressful and arduous moment in a queer individuals life, but at the same time very rewarding. Everyone’s coming out story is unique and different. Some can have a positive outcome from coming out and some can have difficulties. There is no right or wrong way to come out. Everyone’s journey is different.
These coming out stories can be helpful for those individuals who are struggling with their sexual and/or gender identity. It is very important to showcase these stories for the upcoming generattion of queer individuals.
In honor of National Coming Out Day, WMSC will highlight individuals who have gone through their coming out journeys and give advice to their younger selves.
By David Velasco
Name: David Velasco
Pronouns: He/Him/His
Major: Communication and Media Arts / Gender, Sexuality, and Women’s Studies
What advice would you give your younger self about the coming out process?
The advice that I would give my younger self is that coming out can be scary, but liberating. Just remind yourself that there are people who love and support you. Come out when you feel like you are safe and ready. There is no rush in coming out. Once you come out, you will be the happiest and liberated person in your life. You will start to love yourself and be comfortable in your own skin. You will grow closer to those in your life and meet new and amazing people who will guide you to love yourself. Don’t ever lose your positivity and love for others. Hang in there bud. YOU GOT THIS!
Name: Da’Nae Dunham
Pronouns: She/Her
Major: Communication and Media Studies
Minor: Political Science
What advice would you give your younger self about the coming out process?
Da’Nae, there is no need to be afraid of your own identity. Allow yourself to be comfortable around friends and family! You’ll find out that a lot of your friends are struggling with their sexualities too so there is nothing embarrassing about exploring your sexuality. The beauty of having autonomy over your identity is the realization that there is no need to force a label on yourself. The only thing that you are ever required to do is to live unapologetically as yourself.
Name: Noah Aviles
Pronouns: He/Him
Major: Communication and Media Studies
What advice would you give your younger self about the coming out process?
Perhaps the best advice I could give someone who is thinking about coming out is to know who you can trust. On the one hand, there are plenty of loving and supporting families and friend groups who would accept you with open arms whenever you’re ready to share. On the other hand, there are also plenty of families and friends who have the exact opposite perspective, who might put you in real danger if they were to find out, especially if you live with intolerant parents that you’re dependent upon financially. If you’re in the latter position, yet you still have people you know you can trust, I would consider confiding in them. If you live with people that you know would hurt you greatly if they found out, I would also consider developing a plan to escape that environment once you are older.
Name: Hannah Cox
Pronouns: She/Her
Major: Journalism and Digital Media
What advice would you give your younger self about the coming out process?
What I’ve learned through coming out is that it isn’t a one and done deal. Sometimes I feel like I need a pride flag tattooed on my forehead, because it feels like I am constantly in the process of coming out. The first time I came out to anyone was with my good friend in the passenger seat of his red Mustang.That was almost two years ago, and it feels so good to be able to tell people today that I am gay without fear.
Name: Jo “Charley” Schwitzer
Pronouns: They/Them
Major: Film and Television
What advice would you give your younger self about the coming out process?
You’re not going to be 13 forever! One day you’re going to look into the mirror and realize that not only do you like who you’re looking at, but that you made it all the way to 19 and you are going to be so, so, so loved, not in spite of who you are, but because of it.
Name: Sam
Pronouns: She/They/He
Major: Psychology BA/MA
What advice would you give your younger self about the coming out process?
I would tell myself that coming out is a process. There is no need to rush yourself into finding out who you are. Stereotypes do not define who you are and what your identity is.
Name: Kianu Maysonett
Pronouns: He/Him
Major: Biology
What advice would you give your younger self about the coming out process?
This question is kind of hard to answer because coming out for me wasn’t the greatest experience when it came to telling my family. The advice I would give to younger self is you’re good enough. There were many times during the coming out process I didn’t feel like a good enough son or brother to my family. I feel like hearing this from older me would’ve helped me so much to get through the hardships.
Name: Artemys
Pronouns: any pronouns
Major: Illustration
What advice would you give your younger self about the coming out process?
Here’s a picture of me as well as Jo/Charley. I would tell myself to breathe, that it’s ok to be nervous, but that I am loved and everything is going to be ok. Even if someone does not support you, you will always have somebody in your corner to be there when you need them, even if sometimes that’s just yourself. Loving and being yourself is sometimes the most important thing.
Name: Carley (Chaz) Campbell
Pronouns: They/Them
Major: Journalism
What advice would you give your younger self about the coming out process?
I’d tell my younger self that it was hard at first accepting myself, and that not being comfortable in my identity was scary. But, learning to love yourself and being confident in who you are helps. Even if it’s a bit scary, there are a lot of amazing people out there who will help you be the best person possible.
Montclair State University Hotline
LGBTQ+ Crisis/Suicide Prevention Hotlines
Transgender Community
- Trans Lifeline – 877-565-8860
LGBTQ+ Youth
- LGBT National Youth Talkline – 1-800-246-7743
- TrevorLifeline – 1-866-488-7386
- TrevorText – Text START to 678-678
- The Steve Fund Crisis Textline* – Text STEVE to 741741
LGBTQ+ Adults
- Lifeline* – 1-800-273-8255
- Crisis Text Line* – Text HOME to 741741
All Ages
- GLBT National Hotline – 1-888-843-4564
